What It’s Like Going Out as an Introvert

Step 1: Step outside

Step 2: Congratulations, you’re now outside.

Step 3: Oh no, the sun’s so bright out here.

Step 4: Where’s the extension cable to charge my laptop?

Step 5: My phone battery’s dying. Now who am I supposed to talk to out here?

Step 6: I found a squirrel. Do squirrels talk?

Step 7: I just made eye contact with a human. Abort. Abort!

Step 8: This bench looks nice. I’ll sit far away from the other human.

Step 9: What is small talk?

Step 10: *looks at watch* It’s been 5 minutes. That’s enough outdoors for today.