What It’s Like Going Out as an Introvert
Step 1: Step outside
Step 2: Congratulations, you’re now outside.
Step 3: Oh no, the sun’s so bright out here.
Step 4: Where’s the extension cable to charge my laptop?
Step 5: My phone battery’s dying. Now who am I supposed to talk to out here?
Step 6: I found a squirrel. Do squirrels talk?
Step 7: I just made eye contact with a human. Abort. Abort!
Step 8: This bench looks nice. I’ll sit far away from the other human.
Step 9: What is small talk?
Step 10: *looks at watch* It’s been 5 minutes. That’s enough outdoors for today.
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