In my experience, sleep and creativity… they’re both parts of an age-old paradox. Maybe it’s just the fact that I need caffeine to focus (and have since I was 16), but I digress.
To be able to have enough energy to make art, write stories, sing songs, or even get out of bed to make delicious waffles, you need to sleep a decent amount. I love mornings. I love the illusion of productivity: of seeing the day just get started. The amount of time I have before the rush of midday sets in, that’s wonderful.
I also love night. The time where quiet descends and you’re left with your peace, to think. To dream.
So, here’s the problem.
In my ideal state, I’d wake up early and go to sleep late. Humanly, I cannot do this. (Vampires can’t either, but that’s another digression).
But getting to sleep isn’t easy. My thoughts keep me awake, especially when I still have energy. Weird bursts of energy happen for random reasons. Maybe I mis-timed my coffee habit. Maybe I had a sudden spike in adrenaline. Maybe I keep replaying that moment in 4th grade where I misspoke and had the crippling realization of failing a social interaction, who knows.
But I know myself better than I did in 4th grade. I know that those moments are in the past and I have to move forward. I need to move forward. To create things. To make something that makes people happy. To be my best, happiest self, I need sleep.
But sleep doesn’t come easy. Neither does answering the call of an alarm in the morning instead of switching your alarm to go off an hour later, or an hour after that, or five more minutes…
All I can do is keep trying to push through the fog of fixing my sleep schedule. Wish me luck on this journey, lovelies. I know I’m not perfect at fixing things, but I need to do this. For my work. My creative fulfillment. My health.