When You Find Yourself on Hiatus (Without Wanting to Be)
I haven’t written for myself in weeks.
Sometimes, life got in the way. Sometimes, a few hours escaping into an unfinished TV series or a video game seemed more promising. Most of the time, I’d get excited about writing and then just get so exhausted that writing a page didn’t seem likely.
I’d scroll through my old manuscripts instead, snipping away an edit here or there. I’d read past works, mutter a few “oh”s and “aww”s and then close the tab like shutting a giant tome, but instead of dust scattering, there’s only pixels, quiet, and the whir of my laptop overheating again.
I know I want to write again, to make the kind of art I find myself escaping into when anxiety is overwhelming — when I can’t sleep at night, I’m comforted by the stories that tell me that everything, for the most part, will be okay.
I want to write the stories that make good bedtime stories. I want to write the things that would help me when I needed them– and help others too.
I just have to walk to the end of the pier that is this hiatus, lanterns dimming as I pass them by.
And then, once I reach the end of the path, I’ll pick up my pen…
And fly.
Thinking of you. Take all the time away you need.
Thank you, Lydia. It’s slow, but it goes. Sending care your way too.